Beliefs
We would like to address the subject of “beliefs.”
There is a lot of talk in the world about beliefs and how changing them can change your life experience. This is correct, and we wish to give you insight into this premise so that you may understand and begin to take charge of your own beliefs.
Let us start with the world as you know it. The world is not some concrete entity that is a certain way or not. It is what it is because you believe it to be so. As a people your collective consciousness has agreed on certain parameters such as a planet sustaining life in a certain way, a solar system, outer space etc. On an inner level though your individual beliefs and therefore experiences in this life have a very wide margin within which to work. As humanity as a whole evolves that margin becomes even wider as you allow for new and expanded possibilities. For example not too long ago in your history the idea of people communicating instantly all over the world was laughable. Yet today it is not only possible but done every moment of every day. Such is human expansion, so that in the near future even more of the laughable will become common place.
Do you see?
Ok with beliefs the first thing you need to know is that:
Beliefs are not facts.
They are not written in stone or the only way to live. They are in fact malleable and changeable… yes even if you have held them for a very long time.
To illustrate this let us look at nutrition, specifically the egg. Some years ago people ate eggs very regularly. They were a cheap and easy food and part of the human diet for eons. People enjoyed and ate them and no one questioned their health benefits (or lack thereof). Then some study came along saying that eggs were dangerous and could have negative health consequences. This was broadcast over the media and almost overnight sales of eggs dropped. What happened here? People who had held the belief that “eggs are fine” suddenly replaced that belief with “eggs are dangerous,” and so they avoided them like a plague. Keep in mind that many of these people had been on the planet some 50 or 60 years or more and up to that point had pretty ingrained ideas about eggs. Yet look how quickly that belief was changed.
This brings us to an important point about beliefs: People believe what authority tells them to believe.
Most people do not want to go through the trouble and self growth necessary to form their own belief systems based on what serves them best. Rather they simply adopt beliefs from what they deem “authority.” In early life this is the parents, later teachers, employers, the media, and peers.
Now let us continue. In addition to authority, beliefs are change and/or strengthened by direct experience. When a child touches a hot stove and gets burned, that child will form a belief that stoves are dangerous. This is a belief of direct experience. Over time that belief may be modified when they understand that stoves can be used in such a way as to minimize the danger and provide benefit. This is an example of a belief created by direct experience that later evolves and changes because of authority (mother teaching child how to cook for example).
However, some beliefs, detrimental as they may be, are not modified but instead strengthened. For example, if a young girl gets beat up on the playground by a young boy she may form the belief that “boys are mean.” If this happens over and over again and that girl also runs into more boys who treat her badly, her belief will be strengthened until it is very strong and she thinks all men to be horrible, abusive creatures.
This brings us to the next important point about beliefs: When you believe something very strongly you will ignore evidence to the contrary.
In the case above this girl, now a woman, may run across the most gallant, charming, kind, loving, wonderful man on the planet and she would not be able to see that side of him or accept his love. She is blind to it because her belief that all men are horrible is so strong that it completely blocks out other possibilities. This is why some beliefs are so difficult to change. They are so ingrained and deeply rooted that the mind literally blocks out other possibilities.
Now, what is the difference? Why is one belief easy to change and another seemingly impossible?
It has to do with a human’s wish to protect him or herself, especially if that human has been traumatized.
Let us think about the eggs for a moment again. While people may have a belief about the health value of eggs, they have most likely never been traumatized by a rogue egg chasing them down the street with an axe. Therefore while the belief has been with them their entire life, it’s not deeply rooted and they are most likely open to a new idea about eggs – especially from an authority figure.
However if a person is traumatized, especially when that trauma happened regularly and often, that person has gone into protective mode and consciously or not makes every effort to keep him or herself safe from more pain. In this case there is also a lack of trust in the outer world. Therefore this person would not be open to a change in belief, even when an authority figure makes a good case for making that change. This is why some people are in therapy for years on end. On an outer level they know there is a problem and wish to change, but their fear and protective mode runs so deeply that they cannot trust the therapist (authority figure) and allow them to truly help. So they continue to go to therapy week after week, dancing around the issue but not really addressing or solving it.
Have we explained enough about beliefs?
We would like to tell you now that there is a way to change them… even the deep rooted ones.
The answer lies within you. Now that you have read the explanation and know that there are very deep and traumatic reasons why certain beliefs have not changed, you have the key to changing them.
You can become your own protector. You can become your own authority. You can decide what to believe and therefore the experience you have in this lifetime.
Do you believe that? We want you to ponder this because the first step to changing is believing that you CAN change and the second step is taking the responsibility for becoming the authority in your own life.
This may not be easy for everyone. Some people trust no one… not even themselves. In this case the first step is to trust yourself.
Indeed the good news is that we see that you already trust yourself in some areas. You may not trust your ability to have a decent relationship but do you trust your ability to dress in style? Or to cook a great meal? Or to do what you do well in your work? Every person has at least one aspect of their life they do well and can trust themselves to do “right.”
Take that one thing and build upon it to a second thing, then a third until you can trust your own authority in all things.
If it is a matter of a big trauma then you can trust in steps. For instance you may not trust people in relationships but can you trust yourself to have a casual conversation with someone without being harmed? Can you deal with people in your work life while protecting yourself? Then can you have friends of the opposite gender while maintaining your autonomy and safety? All of these are progressions to trusting yourself better about relationships which can eventually lead you to trust that can have a meaningful, healthy special relationship with someone while still maintaining your authority.
We are going to conclude now and we wish to leave you with these parting words:
Beliefs are not set in stone but are fluid and YOU have the power to become your own authority and change them to suit the type of life experience you want to have. Your first assignment is to learn to trust yourself incrementally and with trust comes authority and the power to make real and lasting change in your life.
We applaud your valiant effort and refusal to give up!
